soft on my ears...

I just got home from visiting my Mom and Dad. It was a beautiful drive...the blue bonnets and indian paintbrushes were amazing!!! I'm so glad that you are doing better Mom...I love you <3

I also was listening to a cd. The cd is poetry by Hafiz read by Daniel Ladinsky. Hafiz is a sufi poet who was crazy, mad, passionately in love with God. It's some of the most beautiful poetry I have ever heard.

Here's a little taste...I hope it takes you there.

Saints Bowing in the Mountains

Do you know how beautiful you are?

I think not, my dear.

For as you talk of God,

I see great parades with wildly colorful bands

Streaming from your mind and heart,

Carrying wonderful and secret messages

To every corner of this world.

I see saints bowing in the mountains

Hundreds of miles away

To the wonder of sounds

That break into light

From your most common words.

Speak to me of your mother,

Your cousins and your friends.

Tell me of squirrels and birds you know.

Awaken your legion of nightingales—

Let them soar wild and free in the sky.

And begin to sing to God.

Let’s all begin to sing to God!

Do you know how beautiful you are?

I think not, my dear,

Yet Hafiz

Could set you upon a Stage

And worship you forever!

--Hafiz

being loved...

Being loved is the most awesome thing. I was watching the movie "the secret life of bees" the other day. There's a line in the movie...that said "every little thing wants to be loved" and I totally agree.

There are many times that I have fallen short as a parent...but no matter how bad the situation got...I always found a way...to let my daughters know that they were loved. Because of this...I have peace in knowing that they will do the same thing.

Someone once told me that "the more love you give...the more you get in return" I have also found this to be true. So on a good day...I try to love really well...so that when I'm having a bad day...maybe...it will find me. Sometimes it comes in a hug from a friend or my family...or a smile...a cuddle from my cat...the sunrise or sunset...the moon and stars...flowers in a field...poetry...music...or a letter.

I was watching tv the other night...the discussion was very heated. They were debating whether or not Satan or the devil really exists. People were really divided on this and they were going to great lengths to get their points across. One thing I noticed in all of it...was the absence of love. They were so busy trying to get their point across that they failed to listen to what the other person was saying. I myself got nothing from the discussion. So if there was someone out there that was really looking for the answer to the question "Does Satan or the Devil really exist??" I would have to say they probably went to bed that night thinking "wow...I'm more confused then I was to start with".

is there a Devil or Satan or Hell...I would have to say yes...I do believe it. Not because I believe that the Devil or Satan is a real entity or that I believe that Hell is a real destination...but because some people live a Hell on earth. I work with teenagers who don't know they are loved....I hear about all the things that happen to them at home...I have friends who have aborted their babies...because they thought they would be cast out...I have seen homeless 2 year olds in Africa and the ravages of war...the focus on what seperates us...be it race...religion...straight...gay....man...woman....sometimes (this hurts the most) in the name of God...instead of embracing what we have in common.

What if Hell was just the absence of love?? And what if the Devil...could be me or you...if love were denied.

Fray...

the haunting word of the moment is Fray...popped up twice yesterday...once at work and then on tv as I was about to fall asleep...so...once again...I looked it up...cause didn't know what it meant...interesting

fray ¹

n.

1. A scuffle; a brawl. See Synonyms at brawl.

2. A heated dispute or contest.

tr.v. frayed, fray·ing, frays Archaic

1. To alarm; frighten.

2. To drive away.

---

fray (ANNOYED) Show phonetics
verb [I]
If your temper frays or your nerves fray, you gradually become upset or annoyed:
Tempers frayed as thousands of motorists began the Christmas holiday with long waits in traffic jams.

Definition

fray:

to start to become less effective or successful:
Without the unifying forces of the army and the monarchy, it seems, the nation would begin to fray at the edges.

awwww....again!!!

this is why I adore animals!!!

???

can you feel when someone is thinking about you??

When you dream about someone...are they dreaming about you at the same time??

Is Love a choice...or does it just happen?? And if it just happens...what gives us the right to try and define it??

Why can't we focus on the things we have in common instead of the things that make us different??

What do kids think when they hear us say "because I said so" and how would they respond to it...if they knew they wouldn't get in trouble??

If you got amnesia...and forgot your belief system?? would God still love you??

What do you miss most about being a kid??

Just wondering...

you bet I love myself...

ok...you can prob tell...that I 'm on spring break...cause I have a lot of time on my hands...so what...this blog is a place for me to come when I have something to say...so since i'm on spring break and I have a little more time on my hands...well...I think you get the picture...anyhoo

I have a firing thought about a conversation I had with someone the other day...It went a little something like this...

"you sure do have a lot of pictures of yourself"

Me..."and??"

"you must love yourself"

Me..."you're right...I do."

silence...

Me..."If I didn't love myself first...I wouldn't be able to love anyone else"

so there you have it...I do love myself...so therefore...I love you too : )

my heros!!!!

be still...

ssshhhh....be still...listen...can you feel it?? open your eyes can you see it?? beautiful...

Divine Love

I consider myself a seeker...someone who has started to seek the Divine (God, higher power) in everyone...everything and everywhere.

This is a very restful and peaceful stop in my spiritual journey. The only time I get tired is when someone asks me "what do you believe?". I used to try and answer this question...but...come to find out...I still don't know yet...because I'm still seeking...and will be until I finish with this life.

But...once in a while I get a glimmer of the Divine and it's glorious...because I've been promised that if I seek...I will find...seeking with the eyes of a child.

so...because I love poetry and because I'm a girl (we love this stuff)this poem speaks to me...of Divine Love.

'We Keep Each Other Happy' from the sufi mystic and poet Hafiz

Like two lovers who have become lost In a winter blizzard,

And find a
cozy empty hut In the forest,

I now huddle everywhere with the
Friend.

God and I have built an immense fire Together.

We keep each
other happy And warm.

alex turned me on to picnik...check it out @ picnik.com
I love it!!! K. is such a diva!!!

can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can't wait...it's definitely a date...7/17/09!!!! IMAX 4 SURE!!!

nothing stays the same...

I just sent an email to one of the most amazing people I know. I was telling her the truth is this

"nothing stays the same...oh if it only could!!!"

I was reminded of the song "Stop this train" from the same album that I talked about earlier "Continuum" by John Mayer. If you don't have this CD...get it...you at least need to listen to this song.

I'm going to post the lyrics for you.

love...

Stop this train...by John Mayer

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

why does this word keep popping up??

So...I have been reading a lot lately (I guess that's not that big a deal for those of you who know me).

But...this word keeps popping up.

I love it when I come across a word that I have no earthly idea what it means...and if it keeps popping up...I get really excited, because I believe...something or someone is trying to get my attention. I just love that kind of stuff.

The word is altruism.

I have never heard this word before...so I'm like...why does it keep popping up? So...I'm really into a book and I come across this word...well I could just keep reading and act like I know what it is...or...I can admit that I don't know everything and stop reading and look it up...so...I finally did.

All I can say is...WOW!!!

I have found a couple of definitions...I'll paste them here.

Something or someone definitely has my attention!!! Heads up!!!


Altruism - (from Latin: alter: the other) is the deliberate pursuit of the interests or welfare of others or the public interest.

1. Loving others as oneself. 2. Behaviour that promotes the survival chances of others at a cost to ones own. 3. Self-sacrifice for the benefit of others.

Regard for others, both natural and moral; devotion to the interests of others; brotherly kindness; -- opposed to egoism or selfishness.

1 : unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others 2 : behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others of its species

awww!!!!

can someone please find this cat and bring her home to me!!!

I can't decide which one I love more...my music or my books. I hope I never...ever have to choose.

One of my favorite CDs is "Continuum" by John Mayer.

This song touches me to the core. It's filled with raw emotion and the lyrics are amazing...not to mention the awesomeness of John's playing.

I'm so feelin it...enjoy : )

little Miss Judge

Did I mention that this blog is also a place for me to come when I need to fess up??

Well...it is!!!

I can really be the most judgmental person on the face of this earth (I know right?? I'm also the one who hates intolerance) so why then...did I almost totally write someone off...just because they seem to be a grouchy and mean old lady most of the time?? Really?? yes really.

Well...guess what happened??

I had to spend an entire day with this very person.

Man oh man was I dreading it!!! I was like (talking to myself again) "Self...see what you get for talking smack about that lady to your friends...now you have to spend the whole day with her!!! Just you and her!!! A double shot mocha (I was wishin I had one!!!) couldn't even bring a smile to this situation.

So...I dragged my feet as long as I could...my friends told me "good luck" as I was leaving and that "We will be thinking of you"...I wanted to hit them!!!

So...out of my classroom I went...up the stairs...telling myself once again that I'll just tell her that I have to get this stack of books read before my next book club meeting and that I really didn't feel like talking.

I finally get there and she looks at me...before I could tell her about my books and she says "Let's go get some comfy chairs to sit in" and I'm like...yes...sure...ok. After that...I don't remember much except...listening to how much of a music fan she is and that she likes a lot of the same music that I do. We talked and talked and time just flew. She told me that she really liked this one particular artist...but she didn't have any of his cds...she really liked one song very much. I went on to tell her that I had that CD and that I would love to burn a copy for her.

Long story short....she's way cooler than I am!!! but...I can't believe that I almost missed out on making a new friend...just because...she wasn't what I thought she should be.

"So...Self...be kind to strangers...cause you're quite strange yourself"

Ok...I admit it...my cat is spoiled.

This is little K. (short for Kitty).

She is the best cat in the world. Thanks Little K. for finding me and making me feel loved. You have been and continue to be such a joy...I love you <3 (I don't think she wants to share)

My happy place

When life takes a crazy turn...I can always come back to my happy place. These visuals are stored away for just an occasion. It's true...peace comes from within...